I was home one evening relaxing in my living room when a rose in a little vase on the mantle caught my eye. Something attracted me to it. There was something special about it. The rose was very beautiful and fresh. But there was something more--there was an atmosphere of brilliance around it. I was full of pleasure just looking at it and I truly enjoyed its presence.

When I came into the living room the next morning, I noticed that the rose had started to wilt. The weight of its head made it droop, and it touched me somehow that this rose, which was so beautiful the night before, had now begun to die.

As I contemplated the dying rose I decided to walk over to it. I put my face very close to the flower and smelled it. I breathed in the preciousness of its life. I looked at each of its petals, appreciating the vividness of the color, the flower's gentle folds, and the soft texture of each petal. I stayed with the rose for some time, until finally I had to leave for work.

Later that day when I came home I noticed that, once again, there was a beautiful, fresh, vibrant rose in the vase. Naturally, I thought that my wife had replaced the old rose with a new one. In fact, I learned a bit later that day, to my amusement, that she thought that I had replaced the rose. It became clear that this was indeed the same rose; it was my rose, somehow revived to its original, fresh state. There was no rational explanation as to why the rose was in full bloom again. The water hadn't even been changed. I was surprised and a little bewildered, but also very glad. In a sense, I felt an attachment to the rose. And to my amazement, it continued to stay fresh and straight for another week and a half.

***

This experience was very significant. The rose was a teacher for me, and it made a lasting impression in my life. I still refer back to that experience. I learned that, for a healer, change isn't always about doing something. As Iappreciated and related to the rose, it wasn't even my intention to preserve its life process; I had merely been reflecting on how it stood as a symbol for life. I realized later that it had been transformed through my appreciation of its beauty and my willingness to deeply acknowledge its existence.

It is easy to forget, perhaps, that the rose was a living being. It was alive. The same essence of life in that rose is in everything. This is what makes everything so valuable. The whole universe is filled with the essence of life.

I began to realize that acknowledgment and appreciation of the life within any living being is what potentially can enliven it. I began to understand that acknowledgement and appreciation bring more meaning and encouragement to a living being, and that something that is valued and loved can flourish.

I thought about babies who were never held or nurtured, or loved. Even though their physical needs were taken care of, if their existence was not acknowledged and valued they could not thrive. As those babies grew up they would most likely become disconnected and isolated from life; life would not have much value or meaning for them.

Seeing the effect of my relationship to the rose, and also knowing how children suffer when they are not nurtured or loved, brought me to a sense of conviction. Since then, valuing the essence and wholeness of all living beings has become the key in my work as a healer.

I believe that if I am able to help someone know who he or she is, that healing will be possible. The ability to see and cherish someone deeply, to hold hope for them and then be open to new possibilities, is what creates the conditions that are essential for powerful healing and transformation. This is what I call wholeness healing--that is, the act of approaching others with openness while fully acknowledging and appreciating them. Our basic alignment with others happens in the spirit of recognition and total acceptance from the personality level all the way to their essential nature, their inner divinity.

If this is not our basic alignment, we run the risk of creating those illusory images that cause the healer and client to move away from reality. This creates distortions and distance from our qualities as human beings, and therefore, true empowerment cannot take place. In the end, for us as healers, it comes down to two basic choices. One places the value in serving health and wholeness. The other serves the healer's own self-glorification.
 
***

I now teach wholeness healing to my students. Sometimes I have them do a specific exercise in which one person slowly and reverently faces a partner who is facing them. In this exercise, I cannot ask them to love as they approach their partners, but I say to them, "See this person as an expression of the divine essence in physical form," which helps to communicate to them that there is something deeper than the surface level of this person.

I invite my students to approach their partners with acknowledgment, appreciation, and a deep valuing of the uniqueness and preciousness of the person in front of them. In the way, the atmosphere for more sensitivity is created, which might even open the door to a more connected way of perceiving and receiving. After listening to so many students share what happened, about how profound such a simple exercise was for them, I am constantly reminded that in wholeness healing the approaching partner is as enriched by the experience as the receiving partner.

There is something so essential about the kind of acknowledgment that can happen during a wholeness healing, because everyone is tenuous about being seen so deeply. I don't know if this was true for the rose, but we human beings are in constant doubt and struggle with questions about our own sense of self. So, it is deeply meaningful to say, "I see you. You exist. I value and appreciate you. And when I am not in fear, I love you."

By approaching someone in this manner, we are awakening something in that person. We are igniting the possibility of a new kind of relationship between the surface levels of the person--where there is the experience of fragmentation--and the essence level. We are creating a line of communication that connects the person to the memory of oneness, to the memory of spirit within.

***

What my teacher the rose taught me has become the foundation in my approach to healing. Techniques are always secondary to the essence level of healing. The experience with the rose happened, not intentionally, not by any manipulation, but spontaneously. I was not trying to heal the rose. And yet the result was transformation. The experience also transformed me. I then understood that healing at the essence level has a lot to do with the quality of our relationship to another living being.

I'm moved to be in service. This is the form it takes for me. But everyone has their own unique journey, their own unique place. This book is about my journey and all of our journeys. My hope for you is that my journey will touch your longing to know yourself more deeply and help you to begin your own journey toward wholeness.